I've been wanting to get more of my stories recorded. I don't think I am the only one out there who is a chronic picture taker, yet not much of a story teller.
waiting for our plane to board for Beijing
I believe photos are significantly more meaningful when combined with words and especially when paired with a story written from the heart. How many of us have come upon old photos and have no idea who is in them or more importantly what the story is behind the photo?
I don't want that to happen to the people who find my photos in the future. Of course, with digital photography, we have so many photos that we couldn't possibly tell the story of each and every one.
Even still, we owe it to ourselves as well as those that come after us, to tell our most important stories.
You get to determine what those are.
I give you complete freedom to tell any story your heart wants to tell.
That last sentence is as much a message to you as it is to me. The story I will tell today is not a happy story, but I have been feeling the need to tell it or more acurately, record it. I have told it many times over the past month or so, but this is the first time it's been recorded.
Again, my hope is to INSPIRE you to record your own stories.
At the end of this post, don't miss links to Storytelling INSPIRATION on the web.
**I hope you will see that my story may not be perfectly written or even super interesting to someone outside our own family, but despite its flaws, it is an important story and it is now recorded.**
HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER?
Summers in Beijing are far less than desirable. The pollution reaches unhealthy levels almost daily, the temperatures reach into the 100s (40s C) before the end of June, and it is very humid. Therefore, many of us Beijingren who have children, vacate for the worst of it and return to our home countries for the months of July & August. This summer was no different.
the view out our living room window on a less than stellar bad air day
Reuniting with friends in early September, the standard question is "Did you have a good summer?" In the habit of saying 'yes' and moving on, I often had to catch myself this year and say, 'actually, no, it was terrible!'
The kids and I flew to Redondo Beach on June 30 and on July 7, I found myself flying back to Beijing without kids. Within 24 hours after we left Beijing, my husband was admitted to the hospital. Rewind 20 days before, 48 hours after we landed from our holiday in India, I came down with a high fever and a bad stomach bug. It seemed too long past our trip to be something I caught in India, but of course it is suspect. Nine days after my illness began, Paul, my husband, came down with the exact same symptoms. Twelve days into his illness, the symptoms appeared to be worsening again and just after the kids and I left Beijing for California, the cramping was painful enough that Paul went to the ER.
They sent him home the next morning but he lasted only an hour at home and returned by taxi, barely making it. He was communicating with me using his Blackberry to text and email as well as making the occasional phone call. He sounded just like himself and assured me it was nothing. He was certain he would be home by Saturday at noon, but called again and said they were going to keep him another day and figured out he was simply dehydrated. They would hook him up to an IV with fluid and he would be home by noon the next day. Shortly after that conversation he emailed me to tell me his phone battery was about to die and he would call me when he arrived home the next day.
Paul with his Blackberry
That time came and went and there was no phone call. I was not the least bit worried at that point because I assumed he knew what he was talking about. When he didn't call me, though, I decided I better call the hospital fully expecting to hear that he had already been released. Much to my surprse, they put me right through to Paul. When he got on the line he sounded horrible. His breathing was labored and it was difficult for him to talk. Shocked I asked him what was going on. He told me that he was fine, he just had fluid in his lungs.
What?!
He said it like it was no big deal. I questioned him about it. Why do you have fluid in your lungs? He thought it had something to do with the IV with fluid.
Huh?
In my limited medical knowledge I knew that pretty much the only reason you should have fluid in your lungs is if you have pneumonia. No, he assured me, not only didn't he have pneumonia but his body was infection free! This just wasn't adding up, but he insisted and he also told me for the third day in a row, that he would definitely be home tomorrow.
I knew something wasn't right, so I asked him to find me a nurse who spoke English. I was able to speak with a very well spoken male nurse who sounded like he was from North America. He told me everything that he could about Paul's current condition. The most important information being that Paul had sepsis.
receiving some meds before being released while enjoying cards made by the kids
I had heard of sepsis before. And knowing the meaning of septic, I automatically knew that it was poisoning (in this case blood poisoning from an infection). For some reason, though, I wasn't nearly as alarmed as I should have been. I think it was one of those words I had heard too many times that it had lost its meaning. Not to mention, the nurse didn't sound alarmed and nobody from the hospital had even called me, so how serious could it have been?
I decided I better let someone in Beijing know that Paul was in the hospital just in case he needed an advocate. I thought my friend's husband might still be there so I sent her an email just in case he hadn't yet joined her in the States. Unbeknownst to me, he reads her emails and he got back to me within five minutes! He happens to be a doctor who specializes in infectious dieseases and obviously reading that Paul had sepsis raised a red flag for him.
He immediately went to the hospital to check on Paul and found out all his medical information from the doctor's on duty. He promptly reported back to me and continued to assertively asked questions at the hospital until he was able to be in touch with and have a conversation with Paul's head doctor. He even went to the doctor's clinic office and left his business card. He wanted to make sure Paul was getting adequate care. He wasn't confident in the doctors who he first met who were attending to Paul.
Luckily Paul's head doctor, turned out to be an American who graduated from UCLA medical school. PHEW! My friend warned me not to talk to any of the subordinate physicians but to only speak with Paul's head doctor who he had every confidence in. When I finally arrived in Beijing and spoke with the various doctors, I understood why. The subordinate doctors often gave incorrect or misguided information and rather than admitting they might not have an answer but would find out, they would make something up. These doctors, though called doctors, might not actually be completely through medical school which is also a very different structure than we are used to at home. Bottomline, they aren't reliable sources of information. Sometimes they even seemed to know less than the nurses. They were not decision makers but took information back to the head doctor and he made all important decisions.
our middle son talking to Dad via Skype
Thank goodness my friend gave me this information so I wouldn't be scared by inaccurate information.
I also lucked out because one of my best friends from home is a seasoned physician. She was by my side or only a phone call away day or night through the entire ordeal. When I was finally able to talk to Paul's head physician, she came over to my mother's house and shared my Skype earphones so she could hear everything and interpret his condition and translate everything into lay terms for me and Paul's family who were in town for 4th of July.
You have to picture the two of us, with my laptop on the bed, I had the earphones on my head, one earpiece was turned out and she was standing next to me, a knee on the bed and her ear pressed up against that outturned ear piece. Now that is a true friend!
The good news was, they thought they would have to intubate him the day before and they didn't have to. He was not yet out of the woods, though. Dr. M, Paul's head doctor, told me we should wait another 24 hours to make sure they wouldn't have to intubate him. We would know by then if I should fly to Beijing.
All three doctors who were helping me, told me there was no medical reason for me to go to Beijing. I trusted what they said. Paul's parents had a different idea. They felt it was necessary to go yesterday, however, neither of them had an active passport. Nor were they talking to the doctor's directly. They were welcome to, but didn't seem interested. They were happy to have me be the sole contact person. They felt I should go immediately. I had just landed and had three children to think about, not to mention three knowledgeable doctors were telling me not to go or at least to hold off and see. I was in shock and confused.
the photo I sent to family & friends to show them Paul was OK - everyone loved his floral hospital gown
Eventually, I decided it was best for me to go, just to be with my husband and help him recover. Over the next 24 hours, I realized exactly how serious his condition had been. Later I found out that the scariest time was when I wasn't able to reach him. The last time I spoke with him before he crashed, I had no idea that he wasn't entirely lucid. Those first couple of days when he assured me he was going home the next day (especially the second time), little did I know that even though he sounded completely lucid, he was already confused. He had no idea how very serious his situation was. I'm not quite sure why the hospital didn't get any emergency contact information from him and call me when he started to crash. That is when I should have been getting on a plane and rushing back to China.
But alas, that time is thankfully passed and all turned out well. He was in incredibly capable hands, thanks to Dr. M and his other team of specialists. I was able to have confidence in their decisions due to my two physician friends who could tell me we would do the same thing in the States or other Western nations. My best friend from home even consulted some of her specialist friends when decisions being made in Beijing didn't sound right to her, but turns out they were pretty standard. That's why there are specialties - no doctor could possibly remember all the information for all the various specialties!
I arrived in Beijing that Friday. By Sunday he was released. He had to return three more times to the hospital to get antibiotics by IV. In the States, IV antibiotics can be administered at home, but they are still not that advanced here.
I took photos out my airplane window upon our approach to Beijing. I don't usually land when it is daytime.
What exactly happened to Paul, you must want to know! How did he get sepsis? Was it related to our trip to India? Turns out it he was a victim of the perfect storm. He had a kidney stone unbeknownst to him. This stone was blocking infected fluid from leaving the kidney. The infection was not responsive to normal anti-biotics. Unfortunately it takes 1 to 3 days to figure out that a certain bacteria is not responsive to a medicine, but by that time the infection, because it couldn't drain, spread to his blood and began attacking multiple organs - gall bladder, kidney, liver and lungs. The lungs were never infected but they leaked fluid so at his worst he had only about 5% of his lung function. When so many organs are under attack, the chances of mortality are huge. The chances of survival are in the single digits. Scary.
Life is so very precious. How can a healthy man in his early 40's almost die from a simple infection? It happens everyday. Even in the West. My friend has seen 17 year olds die from the same thing. After a certain point, it is no longer up to medicine and it is the body that takes on the fight alone. We are blessed that he has been given a second chance. I don't let myself think about if things had gone another way.
spending time together in Beijing without the kids a few days after being released from the hospital
I lost my father to colon cancer when I was 20 and I know the pain of losing a loved one far too well. I am grateful beyond words that I didn't have to go through that again and more importantly that my children didn't have to suffer that pain at an even earlier and more critical age.
MY BEST TIP for getting started is to pretend you are telling your story to a good friend over tea. Don't worry about writing the correct words, making it sound eloquent or even entertaining your audience. The most important first step is to get that story recorded! Once it is down, you can go back later and edit if you want.
More STORYTELLING INSPIRATION on the Net:
**I found another 31 Day series blog who is devoting her entire series to STORYTELLING INSPIRATION. Click here to see what she has in store.
**Amy Sorenson who teaches many classes about journaling and story writing at Big Picture Classes, is an inspiring story teller. I encourage you to check out her blog.
**Storytelling Sunday over at Sian's blog is hosting a link party today. I've been wanting to participate for quite some time, but life has gotten in the way, so I am very excited to finally link up. And if you are INSPIRED to write your own story today, go over and link up and see if you can INSPIRE others to record an important story or family legend. Or get ready for next month because she hosts Storytelling Sunday on the first Sunday of every month.
Tomorrow will be all about SCRAPBOOKING.
31 Days of Creative INSPIRATION Series (Links to Past Posts)
Introduction
Day 1: Design Your Own Cupcake
Day 2: Storytelling Sunday
Day 3: Scrapbooking
Other topics in the works:
Photography - Should I buy a DSLR or upgrade my Point & Shoot Camera?; Find out who INSPIRES me; Photography Pet Peeves
Recipes - my husband's delicious salsa, HealthIER (Yet Still Delicious) Recipes
Scrapbooking - My favorite mini album, 30 minute scrapbook challenge
Family Photo Fun, Cupcake Ideas, craft ideas...
AND LOTS, LOTS MORE!
SIMPLE THINGS SUNDAY
Bringing out an old favorite. What is better than a beat up old favorite originally purchased in the basement of the library? We have been sitting around together reading one chapter each night. Reece, who read the whole series several years ago is reading this one again and joins us when I read it aloud to the younger two. He can't get enough!
I'm linking up over at Rebecca's blog today where she is having an amazing give-a-way in celebration of her 52 Weeks of The Simple Things.
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