How to Survive a Japanese Wedding While Having a Great Time Part 1

Back in November my middle son and I traveled to Japan to attend the wedding of the daughter of some of our dearest friends. I met this family back in the 90's when I lived in Japan and taught English.

Their daughters were 4 & 6 back then and they hired me to teach three classes in their home for the daughters and about 12 other children in the neighborhood.

After the classes were over, the mother would invite me to stay over for tea. We would chat, both with dictionaries in hand. I was learning Japanese & she was learning English.

We did this every week for two years. We became close friends. The family also invited me and my husband (fiance at the time) over for dinner often and even took us on a wonderful trip of Japanese hot springs and amusement parks before we moved back to California.

When we got married their two daughters were the flower girls in our wedding!

I had always hoped I would get the opportunity to return to Japan someday and attend the wedding of their daughters. For so many reasons.

There is no greater privelege than to share in the tradition, customs & special ceremony of friends from another country and culture, especially in the intimate way that we were able to. 

We were treated like family. I feel like we are family. I will cherish these memories forever. It was one of the highlights of my life!

We arrived in Kyushu (southern most Japanese island) early in the morning after more than 24 hours of travel. We walked from the train station directly to the hotel where everyone was getting dressed. We quickly changed from our travel clothes into our wedding clothes at the traditional hotel.

In the lobby of the hotel we all posed with the bride & her family before heading up the mountain to the Buddhist temple where the ceremony was to be held. Her father was joining her at the temple. 

The groom's father is a Buddhist priest and they were getting married at his temple in a traditional Buddhist ceremony.

Very few Japanese have religious ceremonies now-a-days so this was a rare opportunity even for Japanese people. It is actually considered incredibly old fashioned and boring and they could not believe we actually wanted to travel as far as we did to attend. The family lives on the main island of Honshu in Kyoto, 600 miles away. 

Here is the bride and her younger sister in the van ready to depart for the temple. My son and I rode up with the bride, her mother & her sister in the van. The father of the bride met us at the temple.

Exiting the van at the mountain temple.

Ascending the mountain from the road.

The wedding photographers were at the ready, awaiting her arrival. Her mother escorts her up the last part of the mountain to the temple.

She is wearing traditional wedding Kimono. Her sister and I followed them up the pathway. I was trying to hide so I wouldn't ruin the traditional photos. They wanted us in the photos because we were part of the scene. And there is still some novelty in having someone from so far away attend a wedding.

Entering the temple gates.

Her mother escorts her through the temple grounds into the temple.

We pass the time chatting and enjoying the gorgeous grounds

and location - high in the mountains.

The temple congretation anxiously awaits the arrival of the bride.

The temple congregation was never far away from the excitement. They are so happy for the wedding of their priest's son. They watched him grow up here.

The bride's friends enjoying the beauty of the temple grounds.

Entering the temple to wait before the ceremony begins. The stairs are difficult for her to ascend due to the way the Kimono fits tightly around her legs and of course her special sandals.

In a room off the main temple, we relax with the family. The groom's grandmother stops in to greet the bride and her family.

The bride's father was at the temple awaiting her arrival. We relax with the family having snacks in anticipation of the ceremony to begin in a few minutes. The mother of the bride receives a few last minute touch ups while the aunt of the groom looks on.

The ceremony begins as the two younger sisters of the groom process in with candles in their gorgeous Kimono. They wore my favorite Kimonos of the entire weekend.

Next cousins of the groom enter carrying gorgeous flowers.

The groom enters wearing a traditional wedding Kimono.

And now the bride enters escorted by her attendant who is the aunt of the groom.

This was my view of the ceremony. I sat on the bride's side in the third & last row.

This is the Buddhist prayer book. I was happily reading along (I know how to read Japanese) but could not remember what any of it meant. I used to know, once upon a time!

Exchanging vows.

Then the entire audience shared in a cup of celebratory sake. Even Nicholas got to partake. He felt so adult. He was surprised by how good tasting it was. It was a sweet sake and probably of very high quality so it went down smooth!

Immediately after the ceremony we posed for photos.

We took photos of each other.

Then it was our turn. The family photo...

This is my faux pas photo. Notice my bare feet?? After living in Japan 2.5+ years, and visiting two times since, I know better!

Of course at a temple I would have to remove my shoes! Of course not covering my feet would be impolite and inappropriate. But for some reason, when my little feetie socks could be seen in my flats, instead of sticking them in my purse, I put them back in my suitcase! 

So I arrived at the temple door and had to remove my shoes. I cringed inside. But I knew my dear friends would forgive me. So, I held my head high and did my best to be respectful and enjoy myself at the same time.

Only one person expressed concern that my feet might be cold. I assured him that I was perfectly comfortable.

And then one photo of "the kids."

Back to the side room for more snacks.

A quick nap...

More photos out in front of the temple before the Kyushu reception.

Then we high tailed it back to the train station to catch the Nozomi high speed train straight to Kyoto.

And we caught a few ZZZZZZZZss so we could wake up in the morning and do it all again the very next day with the bride's friends and family Kyoto-style!

Check back soon for How to Survive a Japanese Wedding While Having a Great Time Part 2.

Thanks for stopping by!

Comments

[Louise]

Wow - fantastic photos, such a privilege and a honor to have been part of the wedding party. Look forward to part 2 x

[Michelle]

Love that you were able to be there for such a cultural experience. I love your documentation of it. So thankful to be part of the blog hop. Enjoy the rest of your trip.

[Kelli]

This is so incredible, Margie! Thanks for sharing! I lived in Okinawa '90-'93, but we were on the AF base, so I didn't experience so much of the culture. This is just such a great experience, and it's so great that your son was able to make the trip with you!

[Nihao, Cupcake! by Margie]

Wow! Okinawa, huh? I have always wanted to go there but still have not had the chance. I've heard it is gorgeous.

[Nihao, Cupcake! by Margie]

Thanks, Michelle. It is a chance of a lifetime. I hope to go back when her younger sister marries. It is like home there.

[Nihao, Cupcake! by Margie]

Thanks, Louise. I'm working on part 2. It takes me a long time to put these types of posts together for some reason. Stay tuned...